The Notion of ‘Self-love’ Is Actually A Recipe for Self Hate
- geoffmiles
- Dec 4, 2023
- 1 min read
Sadhika Pant November 23 2023 more_horiz
The message that the world’s greatest religions and cultures taught young people: Seek the truth, do your duty to your family, eat healthy, don’t drink your youth away, honour the gods and your ancestors, marry and have children, and serve your people. The message that social media and pop music teaches young people today: live for yourself, don’t settle or sacrifice, drink, smoke, party, sleep with whoever you want, God is an interpretation, family is a farce, you don’t need a man, you go girl! If young people do not live a life with purpose, mental health is bound to suffer. The consequences of poor decisions cannot be fixed with pharmacological solutions. Of course, it goes without saying that not everyone who has poor mental health is doing something wrong. Many of the codes to a well-lived life, a life of meaning and purpose, are actually quite simple. Religious and cultural values taught us ways to achieve good ‘mental health’ before science had even taken its first steps. It has more to do with what we offer others, and less to do with embracing oneself unconditionally.
The article’s argument that the modern idea of “self-love” can sometimes turn into self-criticism really stood out, especially the way it questions whether constantly trying to optimise or fix ourselves can actually lead to more internal pressure rather than relief. It reframes something that is usually seen as positive into something more complicated and emotionally layered.
It also made me think about how easy it is to turn personal development into a checklist, where people feel they are never quite doing enough even when they are trying to improve their wellbeing. I wonder if the balance lies in accepting imperfection rather than constantly working on self-improvement as a goal. In a broader sense, it reflects how people navigate emotional wellbeing…
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This blog questions the idea of “self-love” and suggests that sometimes it can actually turn into something harmful if it is misunderstood or used in a forced way. It explains that instead of helping people feel better, it can sometimes make them feel worse or blame themselves, which can lead to more negative feelings. Overall, it’s a reminder that self-understanding should feel natural and balanced, not pressured. It also connects with the what so what what now driscoll reflective model, where you think about what is being said, why it matters, and what you can take forward from it in a simple way.
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Reading this post made me think about how easily the idea of “self‑love” can feel like another checklist we have to tick off, and how that pressure can spiral into self‑criticism when we don’t live up to those ideals — something many of us experience whether we’re trying to improve our wellbeing or juggle day‑to‑day responsibilities. At the end of the day, even as we explore concepts like acceptance, compassion, and inner worth, it’s still totally human to struggle with self‑judgment, and what’s helped me is reframing progress as a journey, not a perfect destination. It’s a reminder that in both life and academics, reaching out for support — whether talking things through with others or getting CIPD assignment help…